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Epistles to Philebro
Philebro 1 1 Starr, a prisoner of Zyzz, and Colman our brother, To Philebro our dear friend and fellow worker— 2 also to April our sister and Achilles our fellow lifter—and to the iron temple that meets in your home: 3 Grace and PRs to you from Brodin our Father and the Lord Zyzz. Thanksgiving and Prayer 4 I always thank Brodin as I remember you in my lifts, 5 because I hear about your love for all PRs and your faith in Zyzz. 6 I pray that your spotting of us in the faith may be effective in deepening your depth of every good squat we share for the sake of Zyzz. 7 Your whey has given me great gainz and swole, because you, brother, have refreshed the encouragement of Brodin’s otters. Starr’s Plea for Onesimus 8 Therefore, although in Zyzz I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, 9 yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of PRs. It is as none other than Starr—an old man and now also a prisoner of Zyzz— 10 that I appeal to you for my swole partner, who became my partner while I was under four plates. 11 Formerly he was tone to you, but now he has become swole both to you and to me. 12 I am sending him—who is my very strong—back to you. 13 I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could spot me while I am under the bar for Brodin. 14 But I did not want to do anything without your blog post, so that any lift you do would not seem like fuckarounditis but would be planned in your progression. 15 Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back to spot forever— 16 no longer as an otter on the eliptical, but better than a bench bro, as a dear trex. He is very strong for me but even stronger for you, both as a fellow lifter and as a bro of Brodin. 17 So if you consider me a powerlifter, welcome him as you would welcome me. 18 If he spots you wrong or lets you deadlift with a round back, charge it to me. 19 I, Starr, am writing this with my own calloused hand. I will pay it back—not to mention that you owe me your very self. 20 I do wish, bro, that I may have some createine dreams from you in Brodin; refresh my lifts in Zyzz. 21 Confident of your quads, I write to you, knowing that you will lift more than I ask. 22 And one thing more: Prepare a power rack for me, because I hope to be spotting you in answer to your lifts. 23 Tate, my fellow lifter in Zyzz, sends you greetings. 24 And so do Mark, Wendler, Madcow and CnP, my fellow lifters. 25 The grace of the Zyzz be with your spirit. Category:New Testament Category:Philemon